The 24 Hour Bus aka 'The Death Bus'

So I am currently writing from my hotel room in Hanoi, Vietnam and I just have to tell you what my last few days have been like.

So after Vang Vieng I traveled south to the capital of Laos, Vientiane. I was only expecting to spend a couple days in Vientiane and I arrived on a Sunday and was leaving on Tuesday. Monday was a national holiday so when I went to the national museum it was closed. Instead I went for a haircut and a massage. Tuesday was supposed to be the day that I left Laos, so I checked out the rather disappointing museum and just waited until I was being picked up to go to the bus station at 5. Once 5 came around I got in the van and headed to the station. The van picked up about 10 other people and we all had the same ticket for the 24 hour ride to Hanoi, Vietnam. I was under the impression that I was on the sleeper bus. This was not true. We were told that we were all on the regular a/c bus which was just a regular bus which may or may not have had a/c. We were not immediately allowed on the bus and all the westerners who already had tickets were told to wait off to the side. There was a young Vietnamese guy that spoke a little English so he went and asked why were weren't being allowed on the bus. He returned to tell us that they were letting all of the Vietnamese people on the bus first and if there was room then maybe we would get on. At this point I was preparing for the possibility that I might not make it onto the bus, but I was optimistic none the less. He also told us that if we wanted to get on the bus right away then we could buy a ticket there and get on. We all decided that the ticket we had already bought should get us on instead and opted not to buy the ticket again. Finally after all the Vietnamese got on they let the westerners find seats. I happened to be the last one on the bus and realized that there were no more seats left. I still could have gone but I would have had to sit on the floor of the bus for 24 hours. I got off and headed back to Vientiane and was going to make sure that I was on the sleeper bus two days later.

I didn't really do all the much for the next couple days in Vientiane. As it happens my friends Brent and Ally from Pai were also in Vientiane so we hung out and went to the gym one day. The gym was great, I worked out had an hour long massage and chilled by the pool all for 55,000 kip or about 6 bucks. I bought the ticket for the sleeper bus and was assured that I had a seat.

Thursday 5 o'clock rolls around and now after 5 days of being in Vientiane I'm more then ready to get moving to Vietnam. The tuk tuk picks Ally, Brent and I up and we head to the bus station. when we get there we show our tickets and are assured a spot on the bus. After waiting around for them to let us on we finally get on and hope to start this long journey. The sleeper bus must only be made for Asian people because the seats/beds didn't really fit any of the westerners. I thought that the sleeper bus meant that everyone got a bed like a sleeper train, this wasn't really the case. Everyone had a reclining chair instead. the chair didn't go all the way down but it was pretty close. There wasn't enough leg room so I had to prepare myself for a not so comfortable ride. I figured it wouldn't be such a big deal, I can just put my legs in aisle once we start moving. What happened next was the totally opposite of the other day when I tried to get on the regular bus. They let all the westerners on the bus first and made sure everyone had a seat, and then they let all the Vietnamese people on to fill the rest of the bus, so any empty seat or space. There are two aisles on these buses and both aisles were totally crammed with Vietnamese people. You couldn't even walk around on the bus without having to climb over people. Now I don't mean to judge but these people did not seem the cleanest. They all had the dirtiest feet and they didn't hesitate to put these feet wherever they wanted. On my legs, on my feet, in my space. I realized that there wasn't much to do about it so I just tried to go with the flow. The bus wasn't so bad at this point, most people sleeping, it was nice and cool in there. Then the bus stopped. I figured we'd get going pretty soon again so I didn't think much of it. Because the bus was turned off I could only last so long before I had to get up and see what was going on. Turns out that the border doesn't open until 6 and it being 1 in the morning we had to wait until it opened. Everyone else on the bus eventually realizes what's going on and makes their way into the rest stop that we were at. We watched a couple movies to pass the time, others tried to sleep, and others just hung out. Finally we hear the horn and everyone gets back on. After another hour of traveling the bus stops again and we realize that we're at the border. After 2 hours at the border and having to pay an extra American Dollar because it was between 6 and 9 we were on the bus again. After another stop just a couple hours later we were finally on the last leg of the bus journey. We arrived in Hanoi at about 730 yesterday and it was great to get here.

I have to mention a few things about being on the bus. One of the funniest parts of the bus ride were the videos that the Vietnamese guys put on for everyone. The Jackie Chan movie was somewhat enjoyable just for the kung fu. But the best part was that every role was dubbed by the same guy, so it didn't matter if a male or female was talking in the movie it was all the same Vietnamese voice. The other videos, which seem to be ubiquitous in Southeast Asia, were recordings of stage shows of totally uncharismatic man boys singing songs while traditional musicians play traditional instruments. Then they played the straight to dvd Steven Segal film Ruslan aka Driven to Kill. I couldn't hear any of the dialogue for this one and there weren't any subtitles like there were for the Jackie Chan one, but that didn't matter. When I read the Wikipedia synopsis I realized that I understood the entire movie without hearing a word.

One of the things about Vietnam that I didn't understand was why everyone was always yelling on the bus. I couldn't figure out if it was like Russians that sound like they're angry but not or if these Vietnamese were were actually yelling. So what I've figured out is that they aren't angry but they love to yell. These guys would get on their cell phone and actually scream in the middle of the bus ride to whomever was on the other end. Twice on the ride I had to tell them to be quiet. I'm a loud guy, I can admit it, and if you know me, you know I can get loud. Imagine me on a bus with you, while you were trying to sleep and screaming into my cell phone. That is what this was like.

Thank god that ride if over. Next time I would take a plane.

Hanoi is a crazy place, but I'll blog about it later when I see more of it. Hope things are well with whomever is reading the blog. Let me know if you want me to write about other things, or if its boring, or if you like it. I don't really know who is reading or not so let me know what you think!

Talk to you soon.